tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64570011362844482232024-02-06T21:55:16.568-08:00Don't read this Blog!!FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-52799870593219675112020-03-30T05:41:00.003-07:002020-03-30T05:41:46.270-07:00That Escalated Quickly. <br />
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I was preparing for my vacation trip with my family. The trip was dependant upon if my mother in law was going to Miami. It was waiting patiently while my wife was on the phone, only to realize that it appeared as though the trip she was planning to Miami wasn't happening. Instead, we were planning to go to Blue Ridge Georgia. I was so incredibly excited to go on this trip, it was our honeymoon when we went there last. It was a wonderful time when I learned to detach from social media and enjoy the moment. I was planning to do the same again and reset my perspective and remember how to enjoy the moment. I booked our hotel, five nights right in Blue Ridge. My wife still had some time before she could go back to work and I actually had spring break time. This was going to be a family vacation again for once. I packed everything up and our plan was going to be after my daughter's trike-a-thon we would finish up to get ready. My mom called me up and told me that the trip would be a massive mistake. I'm sure she was overreacting. The next day came and it was my daughter's trike-a-thon, when it was over, we took her home early so we could prepare for the trip. Everything was ready. Toys in the car, snacks packed, a trip was before us. Our trip was like any other trip, I was in the back seat with my daughter playing toys with her while my wife drove. We made it into Georgia later in the day and we checked in. This is when we decided to go to Pizza hut to eat. Inside it was incredibly empty but it didn't discourage it yet, but it did feel odd. We went back to the hotel to hang out and chill for the rest of the night. The next day we went to waffle house and it had even fewer people inside, a father was eating with his daughter and they were using plastic utensils and plates. It all felt odd but it didn't stop our plans. We took a trip up to my wife's aunt house. While there she had the news on about the spreading pandemic. I looked up our destinations for the week they were all closed indefinitely, now it was started to sink in. My in-laws decided to leave a few days early and we made the choice to head off to Cleveland Georgia to go to Babyland like originally intended. While we embarked toward Babyland we discovered that our daughters had their schools shut down for the time being. Before baby land, we went to Helen Georgia it was all open but there were strange restrictions on the places, people had to be separated and no more than ten people. We found out that Babyland was closed so we looked around Helen and then found a hotel. Near our hotel restaurants were open but only through the drive-through. People were wearing gloves everywhere. After a day in Helen and spending the night in the hotel we drove back home but we left normal far behind.<br />
FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-58865315672232396692020-03-24T05:08:00.001-07:002020-03-24T05:08:51.050-07:00Just a matter of time <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Just a matter of time </div>
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by myk media </div>
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It's amazing because back in September I had a hemiplegic migraine which resulted in a months-long anxiety attack. Within those attacks the major concern of mine was time and there wasn't enough, that was until I just reset my mindset. I remembered what a smart guy named Einstein said about time, that it's relative and that our perspective of time is what effects the duration of time. Shortly after I started to relearn to live in the moment because honestly, all we ever have IS the moment. So many people I know on a regular basis spend so much of their time condensing it. They do this by waiting for the end of the day, waiting for the end of the week, month, year and so on. While you can look forward to things, spending too much time in the future or the past causes the moments in your life to pass you by. While I was having my bouts of anxiety, I wished I had more time with my family and I even regretted not being there enough in the past. In all honesty, regret is a waste of energy and my children were happy with their routine and rather than expelling too much energy on the past I decided to spend as much time enjoying the moments that compromise of our lives as possible. I was being faced with another anxiety, the moments seem to drip right through our fingers. But that's not entirely so, the moment is always now, we are always now. Rather than obsessing with the last now, enjoy the current now. So I returned to meditation, which helped and I regained appreciation of the moment. In committing to appreciation each moment as I'm greeted with them, I decided to go to my daughter's bike race at school. It was a long event, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I saw old school mates and new school mates and while my daughter was having fun, she was kind of doing her own thing. I was glad I was there to spend time with her but I wish I could be there with my kids a bit longer and more often. While on spring break is when we found out about the school closures my time with them was extended. Instead of not enough time, that's all I have now is time. But I realized that's all we ever have. Even though I live in the moment, I do tend to forget to take my own advice. </div>
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I think a bad thing like this virus can help to remind us to appreciate the small things. Now I don't think that the virus is a good thing and we don't have control over it, but we have control over our outlook on life. </div>
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<br />FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-59530526289385996062020-03-13T12:49:00.003-07:002020-03-13T12:50:21.104-07:00How to have an enjoyable Pandemic <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Have you wondered what you would do during a zombie apocalypse? Well, you're doing it now. And I'm not being overly dramatic, the zombies are just invisible anyone could be infected, and it's not everyone vulnerable. Just like a typical zombie movie, you have a load of people who are brushing it off, a load of people who are taking it seriously, and a load of people are panicking. Meanwhile, even if you aren't affected, society is effected. That is always the biggest victim of the zombie films, society. Watch talk shows without audiences, concerts being canceled, and the stock market tanking by the second. Even if you feel that this is just hysteria, the facts remain, people are dying and society is suffering by the minute. This is a strange feeling to live during such a series of events if it proves anything it proves that despite the millions of dollars that we have invested in technology, the countless advancements that we have made, the celebrities that we surround ourselves with, we are still mere humans that are far more vulnerable then we actually give credit for. We were not prepared for something like this to happen. Five years ago, Bill Gates said that society would not be impacted or destroyed by nuclear weaponry, it would be impacted by a pandemic. Sadly, he was right. Now we as humans are minimizing our travel and staying inside. Amidst all of the precautions, All we can do is relax because even though we're doing our best, it's an airborne virus and very little can stop that in all honesty. Little is known about the virus. Either this is going to greatly devastate the nation through death and the economic strain that staying inside is going to cause or somehow we will overcome and rebound quickly. I'm not going to predict, however I am going to say that massive precautions will need to be taken to prevent this next time if we get a next time. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy the pandemic. </span>FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-73997227457630582412019-05-27T13:48:00.000-07:002019-05-27T13:48:06.959-07:00True Love Waits<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
True Love Waits<o:p></o:p></div>
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By Myk Media<o:p></o:p></div>
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The hardest part about having an invisible disability is connecting with someone. Usually they don’t have the patience or understanding to get to know you. It doesn’t happen for everyone, but I was fortunate enough not only to find someone who not only accepted me as a person but also embraced me as a spouse. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyone who doesn’t know what it’s like to have NVLD I can only relay my experience having it. Imagine having an ability to converse with anyone with utmost confidence and stride only to find out much later what you did, or said was extremely offensive, insulting, or strange. Typically I wouldn’t know what I did or said that would have a lasting impact with an individual or group but I would always feel the after effects. This wasn’t more apparent then in my dating life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Prior to being diagnosed, I would go on dates and things would go perfectly find until a certain point in which some of the individuals decided the date was over. I never exactly knew what it was that I said but I knew it was something. This perpetual sense of putting my foot in my mouth was apparent with my father, he suggested potential diagnoses for my mental state but these were all unofficial. I recall going on a date and I attempted to relay these diagnoses, this bought me time and we did eventually continued dating until communication break downs came to a head and ultimately severed our relationship. She no longer took my father’s unofficial diagnosis; she thought I was intentionally this way. I felt like I was destined to live with my parents for the rest of my life, my father felt the same way. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Eventually I found another girlfriend who looked past my shortcomings, and despite living at home we got engaged. Shortly after we got married, my father was thrilled and shortly after I enrolled in college. Everything was going fine until math came about and my father told me there was no way I would succeed without assistance. The college set me up to get me diagnosed to aid with my math and get it substituted if necessary. This is when I got officially diagnosed with NVLD and my wife was very supportive and understanding. She’s been more understanding then any other peer previously in my life. She knows that I say and do odd things and I manage to put my foot in my mouth more often then not, however she’s been with me going on 5 years now. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In closing, even if you feel different and odd there’s someone understanding for everyone out there it just takes time. Just be patient because true love waits. </div>
<o:p></o:p>FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-72481162798990875262018-07-17T08:11:00.001-07:002018-07-17T08:11:10.859-07:00The Greatest Show That You Didn't Know That You Needed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib-puMkKsfCbVu1X0xf4zgRFHlgAdTNdcbyJQLrDZSLAe2tvmULsUfETUxzKTvc_6z7hXYrMbZAc_mMmlGYDAlMIPY9CFsnO64OgFrXtWGOEBhpR2RqZ0NCwF8hE5Dn5JBrBEYV3lQ4ng/s1600/iur-2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1256" data-original-width="1311" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib-puMkKsfCbVu1X0xf4zgRFHlgAdTNdcbyJQLrDZSLAe2tvmULsUfETUxzKTvc_6z7hXYrMbZAc_mMmlGYDAlMIPY9CFsnO64OgFrXtWGOEBhpR2RqZ0NCwF8hE5Dn5JBrBEYV3lQ4ng/s320/iur-2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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In the modern age of utter nonsense, there's something blissful about a cassette tape record label. Strangely inviting does not prepare one for Gnar Tapes. While inviting describes everything surrounding Gnar Tapes, including the band, White Fang, and the outstanding television program that emerged onto Comedy Central. Gnarnia serves the viewer with the kind of calculated throwback comedy that America needed to discover right about now.<br />
I discovered Gnar Tapes from Burger Records, while these two entities are separate they are bound by their unique take on media and distribution. I found myself getting into tape manufacturing from these two labels. The reaction is always one of curiosity and confusion. Slinging tapes in 2018 is difficult, being that it's extremely niche. Gnarnia fully embraces that difficulty and puts it in the forefront as the main obstacle of their brilliant show.<br />
What makes the show brilliant is how its about the real life members of the band White Fang who are also the heads of Gnar Tapes a record label and music shop. The struggle of this band is to try and keep their dreams alive in a world that doesn't quite understand. The band is played joyfully naive which is inviting to watch. The show successfully evokes memories of the Banana Splits or the Monkeys with a touch of Cheech and Chong without feeling contrived.<br />
In closing, this classic show a a wonderful alternative to modern redundancy. Even if a show about a cassette tape label sounds confusing, I recommend that you indulge your curiosity and check this wonderful show out.FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-165061780620907212017-07-21T17:43:00.002-07:002017-07-21T17:43:33.781-07:00Goodnight, Mr. Orlando<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Billy Manes, was unlike anyone else and today, even though I never met him, I can attest that Orlando truly lost a large part of itself. </div>
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Through social media, we are constantly bombarded with stories about death, but each one is as impactful as the last. Why are we humans so emotionally effected by the passing of someone who we never actually met? </div>
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My first introduction to Mr. Manes was sadly my only introduction. However it was an intoxicating experience. I discovered his editorials in the Orlando weekly, after moving to Orlando from Colorado. Those mile high school years were spent reading the writings of edgy fringe writers which prepared me for the tonality and wit that Billy was so fluent in. I was in awe of his writing style. It was reminiscent of Hunter S. Thompson with a touch of Bowie, however this is an unfair reduction of his talents. There was so much more complexity, humor, and intelligence in his writings. </div>
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His writing was the motivating factor for me to pick up the weekly and to strengthen my writing prowess to match his talents. I feel as though I got to learn so much about him merely though those articles. Billy was larger then life, he was surreal, eccentric and overall, a genius. </div>
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Despite being a genius, I never got to experience it first hand, I have met those who knew him, and they said that he was just as amazing in person wrapped in a sheet of kindness. While Billy may have frequented the clubs and bars of Orlando, I was just merely a grain of sand in the large social ocean of Orlando however this fact doesn't minimize the impact that his passing has. We humans are so emotionally effected by the passing of someone who we never actually met because mortality is part of the human experience. When we connect or relate to someone even from a far, it makes that passing even harder. I don't just speak for myself when I say, Orlando will miss you. </div>
FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-44300972437724554432016-11-10T18:39:00.002-08:002016-11-10T18:41:43.945-08:00To the End of Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helveticaneue";"><span style="font-size: 12px;">I was fortunate enough to discover Leonard Cohen's music early enough. Many people were introduced to Leonard's music through the film Natural Born killers. Years after that his music has been played in excess on most soundtracks. However the true Leonard Cohen is far more then merely a soundtrack artist. He began as a prolific poet with layers of symbolism and meaning. He eventually moved into the world of music. For those who aren't familiar with his work, start with songs of love and hate and dive deep into his avalanche of symbolism. I was fortunate enough to see him play for four hours at red rocks. He has lived a very satisfying life and he played every night of his recent tour to the fullest. With time he's been winding down and welcoming the concept of death. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helveticaneue";"><span style="font-size: 12px;">This death is the only death which I'm not entirely sad about. I feel satisfied that Leonard got his wish. He waited to die until he could tour a few times, and release a few more albums before peacefully fading away. He said he was ready to die, and death was finally ready for him. Take this waltz and forever sing in the tower of song. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm leaving the table</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm out of the game</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I don't know the people</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">In your picture frame</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">If I ever loved you, oh no, no</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">It's a crying shame</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">If I ever loved you</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">If I knew your name</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">You don't need a lawyer</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm not making a claim</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">You don't need to surrender</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm not taking aim</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I don't need a lover, no, no, no</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">The wretched beast is tame</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I don't need a lover</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">So blow out the flame</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">There's nobody missing</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">There is no reward</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Little by little</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">We're cutting the cord</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">We're spending the treasure, oh no, no</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">That love cannot afford</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I know you can feel it</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">The sweetness restored</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I don't need a reason</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">For what I became</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I've got these excuses</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">They're tired and they're lame</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I don't need a pardon, no no, no no, no</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">There's no one left to blame</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm leaving the table</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm out of the game</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm leaving the table</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm out of the game</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Leaving The Table</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">-Leonard Cohen </span></div>
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</span>FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-16153840634676621752016-11-09T09:13:00.000-08:002016-11-09T09:13:41.488-08:00Marilyn Manson: Actor, Musician, Prophet?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD4bCzjhALsrYe_cWiJy417H08zBuyz3V2dkNpuznRp_NvlLueJuXZWRfc3FOmUNkqr62ZUGSxIcATG8TaN1uwqUuK3g6-al03HtdHx2-9H_DiPxRCjopbCC1wAxMMLJURsVxDiOlb8Cw/s1600/iu-70.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD4bCzjhALsrYe_cWiJy417H08zBuyz3V2dkNpuznRp_NvlLueJuXZWRfc3FOmUNkqr62ZUGSxIcATG8TaN1uwqUuK3g6-al03HtdHx2-9H_DiPxRCjopbCC1wAxMMLJURsVxDiOlb8Cw/s320/iu-70.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I remember my friend Pat telling me that Marilyn Manson was actually really religious as everything he wrote was symbolic. I had a hard time believing him and consuming what he was talking about but now some of it makes more sense. The three albums he released in the 90s were a strange story. What I present to you are merely the facts that my friend Pat presented to me previously. The first album was Antichrist Superstar which featured a power hungry fascist president figure ripping a bible apart. The album goes on to feature such tracks as The Beautiful People, which is about the rich privileged individuals, Tourniquet, about a powerful individual who crafts his ideal woman, and finally theres the track Man that You fear, about a seemingly innocent individual who eventually rose to power and became the man what that is feared. Pat told me that this album was about a feeble individual who made a deal with dark power to rule everyone. This transformation is shown int he liner notes. The second album Mechanical Animals was essentially about the importance of gay rights, the violent power of the police and the popularity of drugs. The second album tells the story of an individual who is thrown into a reality show settings to become a celebrity. While that occurs the country drugs themselves to numb themselves from the stupidity. The third album is called Holywood, which is about a dark violent world where young people are disposed of while the the government takes advantage of them. The main character Adam Kadmon walks through this landscape feeling nothing until ultimately he kills himself. Now the crazy thing is Manson said those albums tell a story in a reverse order. Holywood, Mechanical Animals, then Antichrist Superstar. Ten years later Manson releases a music video for his newest album say10 with the title track.<br />
(which takes place 10 years after Antichrist superstar) The music video opens with Manson putting ripped pages back into a bible then ultimately ends with a decapated Trump. Oddly enough in the liner notes for Antichrist Superstar it says that it was recorded live in 1997, the album was released in 1996 alluding to the fact that the album takes place in the future. Pat always said that Manson wasn't entirely anti religion. Pat claimed that Manson stated God was dead in the way that Neitzche, meant it, which was an evangelical diluted over use of the word "God". Pat claimed that many who said they were religious were the the complete opposite to what christ stood for essentially being antichrist. Or so Pat said. I'm not saying Pat is right, but I am saying that it is very interesting.FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-29679743607444633732016-10-11T11:54:00.002-07:002016-10-25T18:14:49.458-07:00My confession on national coming out day...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ROcokRV5xhhLxe7DRm0XY62F8dkY2Cti55Qc18JgfcONPDHd2wPAWOd_RBDLDur7yHge2xk7e3i4ac0nSW0zLWF4as5TJZXiEP1M6TgfT7Yq0Wc_b-L_VSw_gXcVepOQ7sK-rCA0G30/s1600/iur.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ROcokRV5xhhLxe7DRm0XY62F8dkY2Cti55Qc18JgfcONPDHd2wPAWOd_RBDLDur7yHge2xk7e3i4ac0nSW0zLWF4as5TJZXiEP1M6TgfT7Yq0Wc_b-L_VSw_gXcVepOQ7sK-rCA0G30/s320/iur.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #4b4f56;"><span style="font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It's national coming out day...I support gay and transgendered people even though I'm straight. My coming out comes in the form of confessing that I have NLD. NLD is nonverbal learning disorder, this is a condition which is actually on the autistic spectrum. My whole life I have been viewed as odd or strange or out of the norm. My whole life I was ridiculed for my quirks, I am lucky enough to have found a wife who appreciates me for who I am. If you ever noticed that I was quirky, odd, strange, or downright flakey there's a reason for it. Many people haven't had the patience for my quirks but It's liberating to know that it's not entirely my fault. I try to use it as a motivating factor to try to succeed and </span><span style="font-family: "san francisco" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; white-space: pre-wrap;">exceed</span></span><span style="font-family: "san francisco" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; white-space: pre-wrap;">expectations. T</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">he symptoms of NLD include but are not limited to:</span><br />
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<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Great vocabulary and verbal expression </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Excellent memory skills </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Attention to detail, but misses the big picture </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Trouble <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">understanding</em> reading </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Difficulty with math, especially word problems </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Poor abstract reasoning </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Physically awkward; poor coordination </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Messy and laborious handwriting </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Concrete thinking; taking things very literally </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Trouble with nonverbal communication, like body language, facial expression and tone of voice </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Poor social skills; difficulty making and keeping friends </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Fear of new situations </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Trouble adjusting to changes </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">May be very naïve and lack common sense </li>
<li style="list-style: circle url(http://www.med.umich.edu/ott/images/core/bullet.gif); margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem</li>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #4b4f56;"><span style="font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you think you don't fit in or no one understands you, it may not be your fault, don't feel </span><span style="font-family: "san francisco" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; white-space: pre-wrap;">discouraged</span></span><span style="font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span> </span></span>FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-2175141258039513342016-07-06T08:18:00.000-07:002016-07-06T08:18:05.054-07:00What truly matters <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5dCY2PSlSvi8HHWHAcdVth9VPdWDy-RjSPMYZ7gUhG3Imf_WkArEegWHkSTrSGJEY-45LFE_pFm4QLagVoDiMukzKjWq0B9uqrfA0Lan3R9Bc2eDSy_qkQ72w01TzF8G1siBvcuSsdio/s1600/heart.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5dCY2PSlSvi8HHWHAcdVth9VPdWDy-RjSPMYZ7gUhG3Imf_WkArEegWHkSTrSGJEY-45LFE_pFm4QLagVoDiMukzKjWq0B9uqrfA0Lan3R9Bc2eDSy_qkQ72w01TzF8G1siBvcuSsdio/s320/heart.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Several weeks ago there was a massive tragedy that befell Orlando, I hesitated to put my two cents in because I knew that I didn't have the proper words to say anything really meaningful, which would cause my words to drift into the endless noise of the internet. I made a tribute album and donated the proceeds which went toward the victims of the senseless crime. Given, it was an attack on a specific group of people, who were attacked for the way they love. Love isn't a question, it's the answer, and it's what I saw from orlando amidst the aftermath. Love, renewed. So many people spend so much time trying to hide how they love in fear that they may get hurt for their love. Love takes on many shapes and forms, what truly matters is that it is love. I was apprehensive to say anything in the first place because I was afraid that my words would be insignificant and pale in comparison to the magnitude of the tragedy. What matters is that I'm trying to put some positivity out into the world, every little bit helps. We all have separate struggles, lives and journeys, regardless, we are one human people. If we all spent a little time making a bit more positivity then maybe things could change for the better...and that's what truly matters. </div>
<br />FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-54594254247803883162016-01-11T03:12:00.000-08:002016-01-11T03:12:18.811-08:00There's a starman waiting in the sky...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyRyKUNCZSH0n0cfuHEK5D0pIGNP1UkJwc6Yjl5PalTlBumlunyypl0a0IoAMhfPe4g99l1BKy4eXtDWObdT_BPJkgdt-h3xMhiCrEh5eU6z0RFbRCWVYEFitIy_da0Jnz5B0GtYcus54/s1600/David-Bowie.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyRyKUNCZSH0n0cfuHEK5D0pIGNP1UkJwc6Yjl5PalTlBumlunyypl0a0IoAMhfPe4g99l1BKy4eXtDWObdT_BPJkgdt-h3xMhiCrEh5eU6z0RFbRCWVYEFitIy_da0Jnz5B0GtYcus54/s320/David-Bowie.JPG" width="222" /></a></div>
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Most of you have already heard the news, the brilliant David Bowie has died peacefully in his home after a long battle with cancer. I've heard these rumors for quite some time that he had cancer, I didn't want to admit that it was the the reason why he was absent from the spotlight for so long. Rumors circulated that he was sick, or he wanted to raise his kids, or that he was simply retiring. I didn't want to admit that he was sick, mostly because I felt as though he was some kind of super human entity beyond both life or death. I spent most of my high school years with my buddy pat listening to music that most kids our own age would scoff at, Bowie, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop. We got drawn into the world of the music, we spent days upon days tracing influences and decoding lyrics and dicesting symbolism. Bowie created an entire universe of characters, personas and storylines. His albums were like comic books for your mind. Sure we have has a multitude of artists who have made concept albums since, but not quite like Bowie. Some would say that Marilyn Manson would be the closest to creating such intricate album universes like Bowie did, but under closer scrutiny you would see that Marilyn Manson merely ripped off Bowie. The shock symbol came from bowie, the dystopian album Machinial Animals was a carbon copy of Diamond Dogs and Antichrist Superstar was essentially a retrofitted Ziggy Stardust with distortion. He was the master of sarcasm, in such songs as Modern love, which sounds like an upbeat pop song but talks about the ills of Modern love. His song Heroes was similar in that respect, it sounded uplifting but talked about the downfall of a domestic relationship. Many hoped that Bowie was simply being reclusive rather then sick, unfortunately that wasn't the case. The world has lost a legend, there will never be another David Bowie. </div>
FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-8088889089557084312015-09-24T06:41:00.002-07:002015-09-24T06:41:39.911-07:00A beginners guide to dimensional manipulation. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiC8ysAFmgoq1j5w1T2m8fnGSuUNiNVWuRq81FPvAZOjGqI4P-gGrthXciLKJ7tpwx5vbQKcG1pCdQsJ5ZWkTPoNHA9sBgKW_2ihQoXv4Ir6NCBvOuf45fGM042qcrvshjuAEhLuZNL9k/s1600/iu-28.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiC8ysAFmgoq1j5w1T2m8fnGSuUNiNVWuRq81FPvAZOjGqI4P-gGrthXciLKJ7tpwx5vbQKcG1pCdQsJ5ZWkTPoNHA9sBgKW_2ihQoXv4Ir6NCBvOuf45fGM042qcrvshjuAEhLuZNL9k/s320/iu-28.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
This morning I woke up, had a cup of coffee, had a doughnut and cleaned my room. However this isn't the only perceivable reality. Reality consists of every possible option which exists within that sentence. I could have slept in, I could have had juice instead of coffee, I could have kept my room filthy. As I type that, I'm imagining that alternate set of options. That alternate set of options coexist along with the options that I have already made. This alternate set of options is just as real as the chosen set. While that example is a bit abstract, a more tangible description of reality is simply imagination and choice. Imagine if you will, you are sitting at a restaurant and you have finished your meal. Your stomach hurts and now you want to use the restroom. How do you get there? You construct a mental path from your seat to the restroom that you eventually follow. This mental path that you constructed engineered an alternate dimension which you eventually shifted into as you went to the restroom. In another parallel reality you are still sitting there with a desperate need to go to the restroom. As we visualize our path, our path manifests. This is a strong emphasis of the holographic universe theory.<br />
"<span style="line-height: 32px; text-indent: 0.5in;">Our perception creates a duality of subject and object, of the subjective and the objective. We think of information as objective, and experience as subjective. In fact, no such dualities exist. Information and experience are one and the same. Every particle in the universe is alive with experience. Every organism is alive with experience. The Universe is alive with experience. On the universal level, experience is one. We are one with this universal experience." (</span><span style="line-height: 32px; text-align: center;">MARK GERMINE </span><span style="line-height: 32px; text-align: center;">Institute for Psychoscience) </span><br />
<span style="text-align: center;"><span style="line-height: 32px;">In tern, imagination is our conscious control over perception and as we are imagining we are actively molding and effecting our reality. We are surrounded with thousands of possibilities at any given moment for every single moment and those alternate possibilities are in fact dimensions. Imagination is the gateway to what we would normally perceive as impossible. With that said if we feel as though we can't or things won't happen as we choose, we are merely aligning our perception to that outcome. In short we have more control over our reality then we give ourselves credit for. </span></span>FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-86450658235575280212015-08-05T07:02:00.002-07:002015-08-05T07:02:17.087-07:00The Future is Now!There have been numerous articles explaining why the year 2015 isn't the future, however I would like to mix things up by posting an article explaining why 2015 IS THE FUTURE. First of all as we all know the year 2015 is the year they travel to in back to the future part 2, however most of those predictions are strangely accurate.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYvkB2wKbrrlSw6-XTzWpXsSx4PzAIURM-dHyMksUu-9LA6toYiaa7aGmmIiz_4S6G4_9PaWIPZc8YHl5gIYjz6e2AtLTy1_oI9ysOIL_nkNgW3bRYdvRJZFqal0TWI09y2yuKcEvXgyU/s1600/iu-8.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYvkB2wKbrrlSw6-XTzWpXsSx4PzAIURM-dHyMksUu-9LA6toYiaa7aGmmIiz_4S6G4_9PaWIPZc8YHl5gIYjz6e2AtLTy1_oI9ysOIL_nkNgW3bRYdvRJZFqal0TWI09y2yuKcEvXgyU/s320/iu-8.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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First of all let me touch upon holograms, in the movie they were dramatically real even though Marty says the shark still looks fake. He ducked to avoid the attack. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFeJy2uJNVc-L0Sk7eI99HY-xK83yLYyZMECcHQCrTaNK03Ea6-RvyPNBOSe2ZYfuFvPIUHm-bn8B99q6ZbOFYqzyb5yJC_BA3dpc_H9vKXM1GI0kZynRXh8dtilm4levYRw5HMgzTPwA/s1600/iu-9.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFeJy2uJNVc-L0Sk7eI99HY-xK83yLYyZMECcHQCrTaNK03Ea6-RvyPNBOSe2ZYfuFvPIUHm-bn8B99q6ZbOFYqzyb5yJC_BA3dpc_H9vKXM1GI0kZynRXh8dtilm4levYRw5HMgzTPwA/s320/iu-9.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The reality of holograms is actually just as dramatically realistic and terrifying. A holographic 2Pac preformed at Coachella while a holographic Michael Jackson preformed at the Grammy's </div>
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In the movie, they parodied the success and exhausting sequels with the 19th installment. </div>
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While it's not called Jaws, it's about killer sharks and it managed to make it's way to a third film. Strangely enough the film takes place in Universal Studios, the company responsible for Jaws. Bttf seems to have predicted our outlandish obsession with killer sharks. </div>
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One of the most iconic part of Bttf2 is the hover board which Marty utilizes thorough out the film. </div>
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While it seemed impossible, Lexus managed to create a fully functional hover board. From those who have ridden it state that it's extremely smooth and amazing to say the least.</div>
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After setting up the arcade machine the children reply with "You use your hands? That's a baby's toy"</div>
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While many speculated that the children were referring to the Kinect, it wasn't nearly popular to replace mainstream gaming. Although, these children are in the age range where they most likely might have something like pictured above. These are brainwave toys and they're on the market currently, they're toys that you can control with your mind. </div>
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Some of the fashion seemed a bit outlandish in Bttf2, and almost ridiculous.</div>
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In reality the fashion of the people in the film is very similar to current raver culture fashion. It's even been argued that tights should not be worn as pants but they are anyway. </div>
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In the film, future Marty gets a video chat from his boss and eventually gets fired. </div>
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We currently have Skype so we can video chat anywhere. Marty seems to have a smart TV which would allow him to watch tv at the same time. Most likely Marty's printers were bluetooth. </div>
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The flying cars were a major element of the film, so much so that the time machine was modified to reflect that change. </div>
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The flying car is in fact a reality. </div>
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<br />FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-48736292719471040842015-05-15T09:43:00.000-07:002015-05-15T09:43:27.158-07:00Lets talk about Nonsense<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Recently Pitchfork music ran an article about how music is essentially worthless these days, with digital distribution and piracy at an all time high. What better time to start a record label? But seriously, Why am I doing this? Back when I did N3RD NIGHT, I knew that there were a lot of people who has art or music to share but needed a venue to put it out. N3RD NIGHT was created out of those desires. Even though I've been making various other projects here and there, there was still a desire for N3RD NIGHT. Well, I couldn't possibly do the same thing again, times have changed so much. When N3RD NIGHT first came along there was nothing like it, now theres a lot like it. From the ashes of N3RD NIGHT and the desire for the event, I assembled a compilation album. While I was doing that I was trying to make new things as well. I was running into the same issues that a lot of the artists who preformed at N3RD NIGHT ran into. An over saturation of media, which results in the damn near impossibility of getting your stuff into the hands of someone who would want it. At it's heart N3RD NIGHT was less about being an event night and more about being a hub for various forms of art. Thus Nonsense Collective was born. NC is a hub much like how N3RD NIGHT was but without the restraints of a venue. Now why did I pick this name? Well in this modern day and age the desire to be an "artist" is downright nonsensical. As Oscar Wilde put it, "All art is quite useless". Most artists know this fully and they might have a day job that pays terribly, but somehow they keep their dreams alive amidst a society that says they shouldn't. As for the "collective" part of the name. I wanted the label to sound less formal and corporate and more like a super hero organization. To be honest even if you don't think so, if you manage to keep your dreams alive within this cynical society, then then you are in fact a hero. You're inspiring someone to keep those dreams alive. Nonsense collective won't be defined by genre or medium. Eventually I would like NC to be a full entertainment company, movie, music games, etc. You have to start small take a small step and take a chance. I was extremely hesitant to do this, but I had some fantastic support from my first artist who encouraged me to do go for it. All of the artists on the comp seemed to be ok with it as well. I put it out there and the response seemed ok, but I was still hesitant. R3troGrl then turned to me and said, "you can't expect success over night". All the support was what I needed to give this a shot. From now on myk media things will be available through NC. It will slowly expand but slowly. You can expect great things from nonsense. </div>
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"I like Nonsense, It wakes up the brain cells."</div>
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-Dr. Suess. </div>
<br />FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-31957232927882318272015-05-01T11:22:00.002-07:002015-05-01T11:22:40.262-07:00A Beginners Guide To Marriage. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUZFa0lb4M896r9xnXByxvbiVS0wl3ztwvH1sj0z_TJqXegDOswsyfRGlpOuRbzc-rAejZoM9BH_clMt1wEsPzVdFDwv5LBxF2A10MJSBySLYn6SPuK0Vfov5Ib7IW18EDrbiFWNtbpHw/s1600/Up+couple+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUZFa0lb4M896r9xnXByxvbiVS0wl3ztwvH1sj0z_TJqXegDOswsyfRGlpOuRbzc-rAejZoM9BH_clMt1wEsPzVdFDwv5LBxF2A10MJSBySLYn6SPuK0Vfov5Ib7IW18EDrbiFWNtbpHw/s1600/Up+couple+2.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
Typically I try to be fairly private, however I feel that this is a subject that is so universal that I could openly talk about it here. Let's say you're getting ready to get married, is it a rushed decision? Are you in high school? Are you mad at your parents? If those are the situations then you should wait. Marriage is a business merger and to be honest the best part of marriage isn't the glitz and glam, it's the moments that are totally unexpected. You won't get a fairy tale moment every second of your life, but those moments when you you get to sit down and relax with your partner it's and extremely humbling feeling that there's this person who puts so much time effort and energy into me. Eventually what you find out is that when you're married you both bring something that the one doesn't have, you learn about yourself even more then you would by yourself and it's a constant growing process. I love every second of married life, even the rough parts are't that rough because you are both going on this journey through life together. In marriage you and your partner provide things for each other that no one could ever possibly purchase, like patience and understanding. It's a cool feeling to have someone who gets you and wants to be around you and in short someone who is always there. Some people worry that marriage could get boring, well if you're with the wrong person then it would be. My wife and I fit like a puzzle, we both understand and get would most people would consider shortcomings about ourselves and this is support. The fact that I can keep up doing my artistic dreams and she's fully supportive of that is something beyond it's weight in gold. If you don't have someone who challenges you then you will never grow. Most of my art is so much better now because of her input and I have assisted in building her confidence and eliminating self esteem issues. I may not be the best at a lot of things, and I'm learning as I go with marriage but I have learned a lot already. Like mentioned above, the trips, and adventures are nice bonuses, but the best gifts in marriage are those unexpected spontaneous quiet moments together.FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-64902532405135849962015-04-17T10:26:00.001-07:002015-04-17T10:26:14.347-07:00Let's Get Physical! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If you were born in any time period other then the 1990's then you would agree that music is in a really weird place right now. This is mostly due in part to the fact that people realize now that music is so easy accessible, it's extremely difficult to make a living as an up and coming artist these days, albeit not impossible. Due to the fact that the tools are more readily available, there's a mass of artists making their own music these days. It feels as though one out of five people is an internet musician numerous albums online. It's like a form of digital creative rebellion, however music is now becoming less special since it's so easy to come by. I can't blame these artists one bit, they need a venue to get their music out and this is extremely liberating. I do however, blame the larger mainstream music organizations. For the longest time time they had a monopoly upon music, as history puts it, Napster made everyone realize how easily accessible music is and that we were over charged for it. Eventually the illusion collapsed and now you can find full albums on youtube. The masquerade is over. Now the only people who seem to purchase albums from Best Buy are older people or One Direction fans. People wondered why purchase from large corporate giants when I can get it online. There is something that get's lost when it's strictly online, goes from being something you would treasure to becoming a file. When we were younger we would have our CDs in special cases and we would get mad if they got smudged. Artists missed this physical sensation as well and started to resurrect vinyl records. This was a fantastic was to boost sales for smaller music stores and eventually this turned into cassette store day. Trends go the same way as societies. First there's anarchy, (the fall of CDs) then there's a revolution, (vinyl at local stores) then that revolution becomes a dictatorship. (the current price gouging of record store days) Now it's less about the records and indie record shop and more about the sticker which increases the value of the product on eBay. I love the internet but I also love physical media. The internet is a great way to get your music out there for a struggling artist, and physical media is a great why for fans to get a piece of that artist like a souvenir. I think Spotify is fantastic for the emerging artist who doesn't make anything on their music, they get paid just for someone listening to their music. Who cares if it's a minimal amount, they're essentially getting money for nothing it helps to encourage the artists. Big names like lady Gaga were upset that they weren't making enough through Spotify, but those names have already made numerous amounts of money already. Those artists now are the voice of something called Tidal, expecting fans to pay $5 dollars a month for a site similar to Spotify where Spotify has a free basic plan. People don't have a lot of disposable money these days, asking $5 a month for something otherwise free is as asinine as paying a fast-food clerk $15/hr. The origins of music years ago was about open source AND physical media. Fans would get bootlegs of reel to reels and share them with friends. My dad still has some from the grateful dead. There's something magic about that. Putting music out there and giving the audiences the choice of a physical format to purchase on works, Nine Inch Nails and Radiohead both proved this. In this day and age one needs to think outside the box. I remember that prince said that the internet was dead and only wanted to release physical albums through a London news paper as eccentric as that might be you have to admit that it is different and have to give him credit for that. Unfortunately he caved and went to iTunes recently. Another entity which is a refreshing change is the California based Burger Records, the have made cassettes extremely popular again. They are spearheading cassette store day, which I'm excited about because it's so different, it's destined to go the way of cassette store day eventually. This is an extremely turbulent time for artists in general, half the battle is learning how you can find a way to stand out amidst the crowd. </div>
<br />FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-77073812425741237612014-02-19T11:26:00.002-08:002014-02-19T11:27:26.296-08:00NO FOMO<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Remember when you were younger and you would sit in front of your television and watch whatever would come on. You didn't care if it was mid season or mid episode, if it was on and you liked it you would watch it. Sometimes you would make a an effort to watch something according to it's schedule but you really weren't ruled by it. If you were a kid you watched cartoons on Saturday or after school, if you were an adult you watched the news or an old movie in the evening. It was pretty cut and dry. As society got older, the options seemed to grow along with us. Now in the year 2014, if we a kid wants to watch cartoons they have numerous choices to pick from or Netflix. The same applies to adults with television shows. Now that we live in the instantly accessible generation, nothing really seems to be worth waiting for, many forms of media makes one feel like they need to immediately embrace or else it will "go bad". But the "going bad" in this scenario isn't rotting and growing mold, it's the fear of something loosing it's social relevance. "There's a new show! Catch it now so you can be included in conversations and thus be included in the populous." This wonderful anxiety has bled over onto social networking sites, where you can see that so many things are going on simultaneously. Watching invite after invite appear and either they conflict with other plans or you just can't go for one reason or another. It causes an anxiety that you're not fulfilling social obligations. Does this sound irrational? Well it's not, it's become such an issue in the internet age that it's been coined as F.O.M.O. or the fear of missing out. Prior to the days of Facebook, discovering things felt organic and people took their own time with it. Now it's as though we're bombarded with choices on a constant basis, or peer's experiences which we constantly hold ourselves to. "Jim went to the Snowbar. Well I don't want to miss out, I better go too." I felt myself playing a constant game of catch up to be socially relevant with coworkers and peers and eventually I broke down and didn't care any more. It's difficult when I'm empathetic towards everyone's tastes and I can relate towards why someone likes something. I, at one point, found myself feeling like I had to almost study for an exam to have social interaction. What's the current "thing" and learn as much about it as possible so I can discuss said "thing" with peers. FOMO along with a strange quirk that I possess, which prevents me from holding long from social interaction unless there's some shared obsession, has been a recipe for some severe anxiety. Maybe it's my meditation, but I'm finally getting back that joyous place prior to Facebook. That joyous time when I would respect what other people liked but I would still dance to the beat of my own drum. I've learned that you have to define yourself by your likes, not the likes of others. The hardest thing is to stand your ground and actually defend what you like. If someone doesn't like something that you like, then respect their opinion but realize that it's just that, an opinion. This world is a tapestry of conflicting and opposing opinions, and our differences are what make us beautiful. We should celebrate them instead of fighting them, fighting our differences is what creates prejudice. I had to tell myself: </div>
liberate yourself from fear and realize that you are not missing out.<br />
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<br />FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6457001136284448223.post-25729866792102727742014-02-14T14:33:00.000-08:002014-02-14T14:33:13.890-08:00delusions of grander <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My wife thinks I'm an open book…she also says that I put my feelings on my face and that it's easy to read. Beyond all of that, theres a bunch of stuff in this here noggin, most of which will need to be scrapped out on the 24th. I'm sitting here an hour away from my wife, preparing for my skull to be cut open in 9 days. How did I get here to this exact point? It's funny, when you're younger you have all these delusional dreams and aspirations, which the tall people in your life encourage. As you get older maintaing your dreams seems harder and harder. Maybe these stories aren't universal and I'm pretending that they are, I've always had an over inflated sense of self worth. Perhaps we all do in some way. Scientists have shown that we are all the centers of the universe, it's all about perception and whatnot. However, I could be wrong, I have been before. I have a weird sense of importance, I think that I could change the world, I get a couple of likes and I think I'm walt disney or something. But the economy doesn't run on "likes". It runs on money, plain and simple. For some dude who had almost 10 years at a grocery store, his crappy art could get likes but it's barely worth it's weight in paper or whatever. Strip off all the layers, I'm still that little boy who just thinks he's a rock star or some thing. Maybe I'm extremely delusional and I live in a world of fantasy, and I have a hard time relating to the real world. Who the hell knows. I would like to make some new projects, but there's barely any interest for the projects that I've finished. Being an artist was a lot easier when I worked as a bag boy, pulling in min wage. I had these crappy little characters and stories, but I don't think they're interesting enough to garner any connection with anyone. Do you ever re-evaluate your life? I tend to do that when I forget to meditate. Life sometimes just feels like a big weight on my shoulders. Are things telling me to try harder or are they saying that I need to stop. There's so many artists out there, and so many people making things, it's nearly impossible to make a blip on the radar. I acknowledge the ego problems, so I try to do the following to keep my ego in check: I try to separate my art from my personal life, I make fun of myself on a regular basis, and I try to help and support the art of others. I really don't know what point I'm trying to make, I guess just need to vent. Once again in the back of my head I feel like this stuff would be stinking poetry or something. I need to face the facts, my grammar sucks and I'm a weirdo. I want to create and inspire others to create all with a positive message. I think most likely I'm less of an artist and more like that weird guy who talks to himself and doodles. Not to mention smells like cheese. I just wish I knew what people thought about me, I already know what I think about myself but most likely it's not the same way. I heard that someone wanted my autograph recently I met him in person and it seemed more like he wanted it to make fun of me. I feel like I'm still that weird guy who doesn't get to sit at the cool kids table, but he thinks he's cool and doesn't realize that he smells like cheese. I try to go against the grain and embrace that weirdness…I think that weirdness is the original "nerdy". And to be honest that's what I was inspired by when I made Nerd night. Then I got overwhelmed by the politics within the scene. The worst part is that I try to be kind to people, then people confuse that with weakness and try to take advantage of me. Then I have to be an asshole to defend myself and I hate that. This is why I'm so private. I don't know why I'm typing this…maybe I'll make another comic that no one will read….FLARThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14955248177657330642noreply@blogger.com0